So, its been a while.

I realized I haven't said much lately and there is quite a bit to be said. First of all, things got much better between me and my boy. Although now it seems as if he's always frustrated or annoyed with me. Maybe I'm just being paranoid, maybe not. I don't know. This week has been and mostly will be one of the craziest weeks of my entire life. There is ALWAYS something going on, and I have a massive amount of homework to get done before break....that's right, BREAK!! I'm so excited!!!!!!! Even though I will only be home for three days, it will be sooooo worth it. I miss my family so so SO much! Not to mention everyone else. This will be a much needed rejuvenation before finals and then only a couple more weeks till Christmas! :) yay!! I'm scared and for next semester cause it will be tough, but hopefully worth it. AH! So much is on my mind and I just don't know which direction to go! I think that's why I get so stressed out. I'm a type A personality that likes to have things very organized and planned.....that's not how its been happening. Well anyway, I have to go. Bu bye! :)

him again...and life...

I have no idea what to do anymore. Everything I planned, everything I thought, everything I hoped for is slowly slipping away from me or changing and I don't know what to do about any of it. I'm scared I'm going to lose everything and have to start fresh, and I'm afraid I wont know what to do if it comes to that.
I just really need to go home and see everyone and have my momma make everything better and sit in his arms and hear my daddy's voice and laugh with my best friends again. just for a little bit. Then maybe I will be able to go forward with renewed faith and vigor.

:(

I MISS HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :"(

The Weekend

So its been a good one so far. I got a bunch of homework done which was good and got to hang out with my friend Dan and his sister. She's staying with me for the weekend since both my roomies are gone. Tomorrow I have to run 12 miles though!!! Its to get ready for the half marathon next week....I hope I can do it!! I'm doubtful :/ AHHHH! I'm starting to really worry about Thanksgiving :/ I dont know how I'm going to get home! Ah! Well I have to go to bed so that I have my energy tomorrow! Night!

another unloading...

AHHHHH! Who here has boy problems?! cause I sure do. I miss him sooo much and think about him all the time, but at the same time he drives me crazy sometime! Its like we care too much and we dont care enough. I think its just that time of the month though.....I hate mother nature.
We also have our cleaning check tomorrow which sucks cause our apartment is like the cleanest little thing ever, but now we have to spend hours on our hands and knees just so there isnt the smallest speck of dirt on the floor or soap stain in the tub. Sucky.
I miss my momma too. She always knew how to make me feel better when I was stressed out, which I am. And as of right now she will not pick up her phone. Poo. I have so much to do right now but I have absolutely NO motivation to do it. None whatsoever. I could be doing a plethera of homework, preparing my lesson, doing my budget (another stressful topic), cleaning, or something else productive.... but no. I've decided I am going to sit here and blog, then possibly watch a Disney movie, and see if I cant get ahold of my mother. Gotta love lazy nights (and hate them at the same time).
Why am I always such a downer/complainer. Goodness its an issue! And one that needs to be corrected fast cause I'm starting to drive myself crazy :/ well I think thats all. I'm going to go try and be productive....night!

Another Monday...

Well there has been a lot on my mind lately and a lot going on so I am just gonna let it all out. First of all, I swear I'm gonna start my period or something because I've been so snappy and mean lately! It's awful! I've been getting really annoyed with people too. Especially the boy I was talking about...and I really dont want to but I have been. Also, I'm getting super excited cause my sister will be here in 10 days!!! I'm SOOO excited! But that also means that the half marathon I've been training for is coming up in 11 days and I'm not so excited about that :/ haha I also have a few quotes to share. I got these from my chemistry teacher. He does a quote of the day and these were a few I liked. We cannot become what we need to be, remaining what we are
 -Max Depree
Sharing what you have is more important than what you have
-Unknown
I have lots of homework coming up these next two weeks which is stressful and a big test tomorrow and another next week. plus I'm having a hard time finding a ride back home for thanksgiving which is depressing too. I really want to get back, not only to see my family, but also because my brother is getting baptized and I want to be there.
Lets see what else......halloween is on two weeks so that will be fun. I start another class next week which should be fun, but will also add to the stress of things :/ hmm I thinks thats all i've got for now. I'll be sure to unload again soon though! ;)

Ahhh! :(

I really don't know what to do right now. I'm so utterly confused and upset and the worst part is I cant fix anything cause I don't know how :( Why does everything have to always be so complicated, especially when people's feelings are involved?

So there's this boy....

Yep, I'm going there. Sorry, but being away from him for so long has made me think a bunch....Alright so this summer (yes it was a summer fling sorta deal) I found this guy. We've known each other for a very long time, since we were like 12, but neither of us knew that we had liked each other ever since we were young until one fateful night this June. Anyway, this summer was one of the best summers ever. Sadly, it was my last summer at home so when I left almost two months ago it was hard to say goodbye. The thing with him is even though I miss him soooo much, I'm not sure I should be. I don't want to be wasting both of our time you know? And I want to be interested in guys here too and keep my options open without totally shutting the door behind me in his face. I really do miss him though. A lot a lot a lot!!!!!!! :( I really just don't know what to do with him. I'm excited for him to come see me. It'll make my year! :) My sister is coming down soon!! SOOO EXCITED! :)
I also wanted to say how grateful I am for my life. Even though I complain a lot, I am so lucky. I live in such a wonderful place, I have a wonderful family, I have wonderful friends, I am at a wonderful school getting a wonderful education. I cannot ask for a better situation. Even though I get lonely, I have great roommates who pick me up every time. I have made great friends here to keep me company and help me have a fun time. I am a part of the true church restored upon the Earth in this dispensation. I know that my Savior loves me and that I am constantly watched over by my loving Heavenly Father. I love my life. Gosh I am one lucky girl!! :)
That's it for now, I'll write again soon when I need to vent again.

Since I Have A Blog...

Well I've decided that since I have a blog now, I might as well use it. Even if it was just set up for a test. I'm sure it will be nice to let out all my thoughts whenever I need to. So right now I'm a little upset. I just got back from American Heritage and we got our second essays back today. I thought I did really well on this one....I didn't :( I got a 14/20 which is bad in the first place, but to top it all off I really needed to do well because on my last essay I got a 3/10!!! I will admit that one wasn't as good but I thought this one was solid! :( So needless to say, I'm a little mad right now. I did pretty good on the test (at least I think so since everyone I've heard has done poorly and he grades on a curve) though which makes me feel (SLIGHTLY) better. All my other classes I'm doing alright in. Nutrition is a little hard but I do well on all the work, and average on the tests so I guess that's good. I'm just waiting for next semester when my head explodes....yeah that's how I feel right now. I can't wait until my sister Mariah comes and sees me in 20 days. I need a little family time and some relaxation and fun. I'm not sure what we're gonna do yet when she gets here, but whatever it is it will be AWESOME! :) I feel so dumb here cause everyone is smart. BYU is tough! And I'm far away from home which makes things a little more difficult. That's why I'm so excited for her to come and spend the weekend here. It's already cold here too so its depressing! It was really nice and warm and then all of a sudden it got really super cold and it snowed yesterday! I know I'm such a complainer but like I said, this is gonna be my outlet so there will probably be a lot of that. Deal with it ;) haha
Have a great weekend! I'm sure going to! Hopefully its gonna be relaxing :)
BYE!